I am God

At least for today. To briefly replace this superior power in whose name half the world tortures, maims and kills and half the world remains on its knees, with words of praise and gratitude for the repeated blows, disappointments and tragedies only occasionally offset by spectacular sunsets and cooing babies. For the record, I’m not an atheist, as that would require a level of interest that eludes me–frankly, religious faith and belief leave me cold, if slightly baffled.

So, let’s play. Just for today, I am God. What will I fix?

One, world population. At over seven billion, it’s way too high. I’ll make that three, four billion tops. Gone—or at least curtailed—hunger. Seriously reduced, mass population movements across the globe, overcrowded city sidewalks (overcrowded cities, as a matter of fact: Shanghai and Lagos, almost 18 million? New York City and Mexico City, almost 9? Please!); trains and boats and planes always chock-full, with the attendant bottlenecks on roads and airports and railway stations, making travel a hurdle race requiring a staunch heart and serious muscle power; museums too jam-packed to allow even a side glance at works of art; the pitiful spectacle of Chinese factories, Japanese mass transit, stadiums filled with screaming fans, street protests with throngs of people waving signs and yelling demands, thousands swept out to sea by the latest tsunami, thousands more falling into cracks opened by the latest earthquake, all these teeming millions marching, tumbling over each other, crawling toward who knows what salvation… So yes, first order of the day for me, as God, is to scale all this down. I’d have to figure out how to manage this without exterminating one half of world population. I suppose I could make them never having been born in the first place. Then, I’d balance out birth and date rates to keep numbers reasonable. What I will not do is to let things get out of hand and then send out famine, pestilence or natural disasters to decimate populations, as is the case now. So Old Testament!

Two, humanity’s various ills. Violence I can’t prevent unless I take man out of human which would defeat the whole exercise. Wars I cannot prevent either but they will be brief, never caused by ethnic or racial divides or by beliefs at odds with each other, more along the lines of, you burned my village so I’ll burn yours and I’m out of here. As for tyranny, torture, jails filled way beyond capacity, the oppression of populations by brutal regimes who crush and humiliate and restrict freedom of thought or movement, all that will only exist in history books, as reminders of what not to do. Regarding famine and lack of water, a smaller world population should greatly help. Death, sorry, will still come to one and all. But old age, ah, that’s a good one for me to tackle. The dismal state of more and more people who go on breathing well into their nineties and beyond, decrepit, broken, their minds gone, no memories left of joy and heartbreak, of the thrill of youth, of a responsive body, great sex, celebrations, travel, losses and achievements, now turned into rags and bones shuffling through an inexplicable fog… I’ll let old people stay on as long as that works for them, with bodies as fit as possible and minds still alert, if diminished. When their time comes, I’ll have death, painless, swift and unheralded, take them in their sleep.

Three, animals. Even people who deplore eating meat will not turn vegetarian overnight, if ever. I know I won’t. We can make a huge improvement, though, by exercising proper judgment and compassion toward our companions on this earth, breed them properly, not torture them, not artificially fatten them, not destroy them in abominable conditions. This day, I command the world to respect all species and protect endangered ones. Elephants will not be murdered for their tusks, dolphins and orcas will not die in captivity for the pleasure of idiotic crowds or be slaughtered for their meat; birds of prey will not be shot for fun and lemurs will keep their forests.

Four, a correlation to the points above, our planet. Our glorious planet. On the one hand, we pay homage to it. On the internet, in films, on Google, we watch in awe as it turns silently amidst constellations, imperious and impervious, spectacular, mighty and mysterious. Our planet, our home. Yet we defile it, destroy it, use it as landfill, let loose poisonous greenhouse gases, cut off mountaintops for filthy coal, corrupt it with our nuclear toys, punch deep holes in land and sea for oil, for gas, all these actions truly unnecessary given the amount of wind and sun energy there for the harnessing with the attendant technology already in place. Instead, fish dies by the ton, poisoned by all that swallowed plastic, birds covered with oil gasp their last on beaches, carcinogens taint our food supplies, in turn destroying people. Enough! Today, right now, I am restoring an immaculate earth, sparkling oceans, polar icecaps firmly in place.

Lest all this sound cloying, I’ll have you remember that I’m not really God, just a dreamer with alas no power to alleviate the misery of the last 365 days or prevent future misfortune but still pleased by the positive: Terrific artistic talent, the incredible speeding up of scientific advances, technology bringing us more possibilities every day, diseases eradicated, small windows opening here and there on freedom. Also news dominated not only by thugs but by people doing good, reminding us that we may not be God but we can sometimes be godlike. On this January 1, 2014, that is a blessing we can indeed be thankful for.

Best wishes, and don’t forget to dream.

  1. Jan
    January 1, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    Lovely, but I would settle for making people smarter and nicer.


  2. January 1, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    Nicely said Saideh. If you were a politician running on this platform, I’d vote for you!

    Happy New Year!


  3. January 2, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    Be careful what you wish for. See “The Man Who Could Work miracles.”


  4. April 8, 2014 at 1:48 am

    Reblogged this on Embakasi Reloaded.


  1. January 5, 2014 at 5:04 am

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